He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My bed smells like the plague
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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