saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
