why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
