remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
