So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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