yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
