Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
