Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize