ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
