Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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