sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize