Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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