gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
