Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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