I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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