i permit you to call me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
