Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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