You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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