my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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