Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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