I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
