I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
