He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
