i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
