The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
