i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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