It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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