I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize