I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
