I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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