you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
