We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
