Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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