My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
