weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We need to get me chipped asap
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
