I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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