I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
