i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
