But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
