...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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