Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
