So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
