Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
