It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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