you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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