dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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