The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
