...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
