Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize