He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
