if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
