we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
