K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
