no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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