you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I supernannyed him into submission
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
