my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
