what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We got so high we made milksteak
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
